


Doll with a Gun

by angelCastiel



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Bank Robbery, F/M, Fake AH Crew, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, also more warnings to come, i dont know exactly where this is going, turnwood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-16 06:19:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5817376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelCastiel/pseuds/angelCastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- Fake AH Crew AU -<br/>What the crew thinks is going to be an easy job end up in disaster. They’re trapped, they’re defenseless, and overall they’re fucked. They think they have no one to turn to, but just when all hope is lost, their quiet, mysterious vagabond turns out to have a secret weapon that he’s been waiting to use. A Doll with a Gun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Murphy's Law

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little teaser for what is to come. I don't know where I'm taking this story just yet, so you'll be figuring things out with me. Let me know what you like and don't like, so I can steer this fake ah crew au in the right direction. More to come :)

“What’s going on out there?” Gavin pressed a finger against his ear piece to get a better sound. No one replied. “Guys?”

“Things are bad, Gav,” He heard Michael, finally.

“Well I can tell that much, thank you!” Gavin replied bitterly. He turned away from the others he was watching, gritting his teeth. “What happened?”

_Michael walked down the street, his hands in his pockets. People hurried around him as he took his time. There was no rush. He had all the time in the world._

_He adjusted the ear piece in his ear, making sure he could hear everyone else confirming their positions. “Where are you, Michael? We’re ready to go.”_

_Michael could feel the weight of his gun in his jacket. It made him feel oddly safe, and predictably powerful. He was all about power, after all. “I’m almost there. I gotta make sure it’s the right time.”_

_"The right time it now, Boi.” Gavin spoke. “Everything’s set. The alarms are cut. The security cameras are hacked. All that’s left is you.”_

_“Alright, alright. I’m outside the building.”_

_He looked up at the big gold letters on the front of the building that read, “LOS SANTOS BANK”, and smiled. He had a feeling that today was going to be a good day._

_He walked through the front door, surveying the area. There were maybe two dozen people waiting in line, a few more sitting on the benches, and a security guard leaning against the wall, flirting with one of the bank tellers. Michael locked the doors behind him._

“We’re fucked!” Jeremy groaned as Michael threw his bag onto the ground in anger. “We’re fucked!” It was all he could say.

“Come on guys, don’t give up on me!” Geoff yelled, his voice reverberating through all of their ear pieces. He stood behind the front desks, looking out through the barricaded front doors of the bank. He could see police cars piling up outside. “We can find a way out of this, we always do.” It was his job to be a leader, it was his job to give them hope, but even he was starting to doubt that they could.

_“EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND!” Michael shot a series of warning shots into the ceiling. People started to scream, throwing their hands up in the air, begging him not to shoot. “I said, on the ground!” They obeyed, getting down on their knees, putting their hands behind their heads. A few seconds later, all but four people in the crowd were down. Three of them were standing amongst the crowd, grinning, taking out their own guns._

_Ryan had the security guard pinned against the wall._

_Geoff, Gavin, and Jeremy left their spots and walked over to Michael, pointing their guns around the room as a warning. “Good. Now, if everyone does as we say, no one has to get hurt.” Geoff addressed them all. “But if one of you tries to pull anything… people are going to pay.” Ryan grinned. He de-armed the security guard, taking his radio, his gun, and everything else that may cause them trouble, and threw him into the rest of the crowd._

_“Michael, get to the safes.” Geoff ordered, he and Gavin taking Michael’s place in the crowd. Michael nodded and ran off. Gavin directed everyone into one of the office rooms in the back so that they could keep an eye on everyone at once. They didn’t need any trouble from a wanna-be-hero._

_Ryan didn’t have to be told what to do. He knew his job. He was in charge of getting the codes out of the manager. In any way necessary. He sought him out in the crowd – picking him out by his name tag. He bent down beside him, getting close up to his face._

_“I believe you have something I need. You could make things really easy for both of us and just tell me the codes. Or you can make things difficult, and I can take you into another room for a more… intimate chat.” The man gulped. He was visibly shaking. Ryan waited, but he did not say anything. He just shook his head. “Aright. Other room it is.”_

_Geoff actually felt bad for the guy as he watched Ryan take him away._

_Jack chimed in from outside. He was in charge of the getaway vehicle – an armored car they had stolen beforehand. “Everything going okay in there?”_

_Geoff grinned. “Everything’s going fine.”_

“Yeah, come on, guys. We gotta think!” Gavin whispered, trying to keep the hostages from hearing. They didn’t need to know that things were going badly for them. It would just cause trouble. He glanced over at Ryan, who was sitting across the room. 

As usual, Gavin couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He looked strangely calm under the circumstances. Not that Gavin had ever seen him particularly worked up. But chances were, they were going to get caught. They were going to jail. Even for Ryan, that must have been a distressing truth.

_Ryan helped Michael collect the cash and shove it into duffel bags. The sound of sirens outside was bothering Michael a little bit. Usually they could get a little farther before the cops started showing up. Jack was still outside, and he needed to stay there until they could escape. But if the cops found him first… they would be trapped in the building with no escape plan._

“This was supposed to be easy.” Michael knelt down, putting his head in his hands. “This was like… child’s play. How did they get here so fast? How did they know where he was gonna be?”

“Somebody must have tipped them off.” Geoff growled. “Somebody’s fucking with us. And they did a fucking good job of it, too.”

“Who gives a shit?” Jeremy held his hand to his chest. He was bleeding badly. “We have to get out of here. We need help.”

“We don’t have any help! We don’t have a backup plan! We don’t have anyone to turn to!”

_“Guys we have a problem. The cops are here. They’re coming right for me.” Jack warned from outside the bank. “I can’t stay here much longer or I’m fucked.”_

_“Hold your position, Jack!” Geoff ordered. “You can’t leave us hanging.”_

_“Geoff, there’s nothing I can do- shit.”_

_“What happened?”_

_Silence._

_“Jack, what happened? Are you okay?”_

_There was nothing but static from the other side._

_“Guys… I don’t know what happened to Jack. We may have just lost our ride.”_

_“What do you mean lost our ride?” Michael stopped what he was doing. “You mean we lost our only_ fucking _way out of here?.”_

_Outside in the main part of the building, they heard gunshots._

“Do you think we could call Ray?” Gavin asked, hopefully. “Maybe he could help us out. He was one of the best.”

“Dude, he’s long gone.” Michael sighed. “I don’t even know how to contact him, anymore. We’re on our own.”

Geoff, Michael, and Jeremy all exchanged glances. They knew how much trouble they were in. There didn’t seem to be any easy way out. They had to start thinking of… alternative plans. Plans that would work out better for some, than others. The kind of plan you only use in desperate times.

And this was definitely a desperate time.

_“Jeremy!” One of the hostages had caught Jeremy off guard and grabbed his gun. He managed to get one shot out before Geoff was able to put him down. Gavin was told to stay put while Geoff dragged Jeremy out of the room, and out behind the desks._

_“Are you okay, man? How bad is it?”_

_Jeremy looked down at the blood that was soaking his shirt. “Not good, dude… not good.”_

_Michael and Ryan came running out, holding a duffel bag half-filled with cash. “What the hell happened? Lil’ J, are you okay?”_

_“What’s going on out there?” They heard Gavin’s voice in their ear pieces. “Guys?”_

_"Things are bad, Gav.”_

_“Ryan, go find Gavin. Watch him in case one of the other hostages gets any bright ideas.”_

“I’m not quite sure that’s true.” Gavin turned to look at Ryan when he spoke. Apart from intimidating the hostages, Ryan hadn’t spoken a word this whole time. “I think I may know someone who could help us out.”

“Who the hell do you know that could help us rob a bank?” Michael questioned. Out of all of them, no one expected the vagabond to be out making friends in between jobs. 

Ryan sat back in his chair, a smile creeping across his face. He looked up at Gavin, who was anxiously waiting for his response.

Everyone was. If he had someone out there who could help him, it may be their only chance.

“You fellas ever hear of the Doll with a Gun?”

“Doll with a Gun?” Geoff repeated. “No, who is that?”

“Well, you’re about to find out.”


	2. In a Pickle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Ramsey and his boys try to come up with a plan, Sargent Burns has a plan already in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow and steady, guys... slow and steady...

Ryan strolled out to the rest of the group, leaving just Gavin alone with the hostages. Gavin watched him go, and couldn’t help but feel nervous about his plan. Or, rather, lack thereof. He didn’t know if they could trust this “Doll with a Gun,” and knowing Ryan, she were probably shady as fuck. But at this point, she seemed to be their only hope.

Gavin was also a little annoyed that he had been left out of the planning process. Instead of being with the rest of the crew, he was stuck babysitting the hostages. He knew the rest of the crew didn’t trust him to handle anything big, and he desperately wanted to prove to them that he could be helpful. He needed to prove that he wasn’t just some fuckup they only kept around solely for nostalgia purposes.

Ryan stood in front of the front desks, glancing around at the crew before picking up the phone.

“Would you mind… hurrying the fuck up?” Jeremy was still clutching his chest. Michael was trying to wrap it up in pieces of cloth, but he wasn’t very good at it. They needed Jack. He would know what to do.

Ryan dialed a number, and everyone waited impatiently as it rung. They were on the edge of their seats, metaphorically of course, and were dying to hear who this Doll was. They needed the help, of course, but they were also curious as to who Ryan might know. He never said much about his personal life – in fact, Ryan _never_ talked about his personal life. They didn’t know anything about the guy other than he was creepy as fuck. Who exactly would he be hanging out with after work?

“Hey, it’s me.” He didn’t even change his voice as he spoke. Everyone leaned in to hear what the other person was saying, or at least what they sounded like, but they couldn’t hear anything. Instead, they had to settle with just Ryan’s half of the conversation. “I have a problem. I need help.”

“Get to it, Ryan.” Geoff commented.

“We’re at Los Santos Bank… yeah, we. I told you about them…” The rest of the crew exchanged glances. 

“How cute…” Michael whispered.

Ryan either didn’t hear them laughing quietly, or chose to ignore them. He continued. “Our getaway vehicle is gone, so is our getaway driver, and we need a way out…” There was a tense pause. Everyone couldn’t help but feel anxious as they waited for her reply. Would she help them? Would she _be able_ to help them? Finally, “Good. Thanks. See you soon.” He hung up.

“…So? Is she coming?” Geoff asked after a few seconds of silence. Ryan nodded. “How? What’s the plan?”

Ryan shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out when she gets here.”

“Are you joking?” Jeremy groaned, laying his head against the wall behind him.

“What’s her name? Her real name?” Michael asked.

“She’ll introduce herself. She doesn’t like it when I do it for her. She likes to… make an entrance.”

Before anyone had time to respond, the phone rang again. They all stared at it blankly, and then looked up at Ryan.

“Is that her?”

Ryan shook his head. “It shouldn’t be.”

“Shit. Do you think it’s the cops?” Michael asked. 

Geoff made the executive decision to answer it. He cleared his throat, picked up the phone, and went into the most pleasant tone he could muster. “ _Hello_ , you’ve reached Los Santos Bank, the best bank in all of Los Santos. We are currently unavailable right now, but if you’d like to send us some money, or ammo, it would be appreciated.”

The man’s voice on the other side of the line was particularly unimpressed. “This is Sargent Burns. You’ll be dealing with me throughout this whole… ordeal. We have the entire bank surrounded, and we caught you’re getaway driver. It looks like you boys are in quite a pickle. You turn yourselves in now, with all your hostages unharmed, and maybe we can talk about lowering your sentences.”

Geoff snorted. He blocked the speaker of the phone for a second. “He said we’re _in a pickle_. What a fucking loser.” He laughed, uncovering the phone. “Alright Mr. Burns. I can tell you’re a respectable man in these parts. So I’m going to be honest with you. We don’t need your pity, and we don’t need your help. And if you try and fuck with us, you’re going to regret it.” It felt good to feel in charge again, to feel in control. It helped him forget that they probably _did_ need his help. But they were never going to accept that.

“I don’t think I will.” Burns responded, ominously. “We know who you are, Ramsey. We know who _all_ of you are. You’re wanted around here for a lot more than a little armed robbery. When we get you – and we _will_ get you – you and you’re little crew are gonna be in a lot of trouble, just like your friend who’s sitting in a jail cell right now. So if you thi-“

Geoff hung up, cutting him off. “Shit, guys. They definitely got Jack. We’re gonna have to break his sorry ass out of jail after we get ourselves out of this mess.”

Suddenly, Gavin’s voice came in over the line. “Guys… I’m getting impatient in here. What’s the plan?”

“Just hold your horses Gavin, and don’t do anything stupid.” Geoff rolled his eyes. “The last thing we need is you getting _impatient_. We’re working on it.”

“No offense,” Jeremy butt in. “But I agree with Gavin. I think we need a better plan than just waiting around for Ryan’s knight in shining armor to arrive.”

“She’ll be here.” Ryan said, flatly.

“I’m not saying she won’t. I’m saying she’ll take too long. I don’t got all day.”

“We need a plan until then. Can we go underground?” Michael suggested.

“What if I took some of the C4 and-“

“ _No_ , Gavin…” Geoff, Michael, and Jeremy all said in unison.

Ryan frowned. “I wanted to know where he was going with that.” The rest of the group shot him a look as if to say, _don’t encourage him._

Geoff let out a long sigh as he thought. He knew this was _his_ job. _He_ was supposed to make the plans – although sometimes he’d let the boys have their fun. But he was the one who didn’t have a backup plan for this situation, and he was the one who was going to have to get them out of this one. “Okay, first things first. We need to set up guards, just in case the cops outside try something shady. Second, we need to get Jeremey out of here. He needs a doctor.”

“And how are we going to do that?”

Geoff frowned. “We trade him, and another hostage for some supplies.”

“ _Trade_ me? Are you kidding?” Jeremy scoffed. “I’m not going to jail, man. I’d rather take my chances in this hell hole.”

“Look, Lil’ J, you can’t stay here. You’re new, they probably don’t even know you’re with us. We’ll act like you were one of the hostages just to get you out of here. And if they figure out who you are… well, you’ll sit in a jail cell next to Jack until we can get to you. But we _will_ get to you. I promise.”

Jeremy stared up at Geoff, considering his options. But before he could give his answer, the phone rang, again.

…

When Ramsey hung up on him, Burns put the phone down, gently. He was not concerned. He had done this kind of thing before – several times, actually. He was confident that by the time the sun went down, he would have Ramsey and his whole crew behind bars.

But before he got back to them… he had someone else he could talk to. 

Jack was slumped down on the bench behind the tall iron bars when Burns strolled in. Jack sat up straighter as he did. “So… you’re the getaway driver, huh?” Burns stood up close to the bars, his arms crossed.

Jack shrugged. “Among other things.”

“Well, hopefully you aren’t an escape artist. Although, even if you are, we’ve got you under heavy surveillance, so you aren’t going anywhere.”

Jack scoffed. “Yeah, that’s what you think.”

Burns frowned. “Look, Jack… humor me for a moment. Let’s just say – that between you and me – you were _just_ a getaway driver. In fact, you didn’t even _know_ you were a getaway driver. You just thought your friends were going in to make a quick deposit.” 

Jack eyed him, suspiciously. “What are you getting at?”

“What I’m saying is that you had nothing to do with this whole fiasco. You were simply a pawn in Ramsey’s game. Now, as an accessory you may still get _some_ jail time, but… it would be nothing compared to what the rest of them are going to get.”

“Are you trying to bribe me?”

“Help me get to them, Pattillo. Help me send them to jail – where they _belong_ – and I can get you one hell of a deal.” Burns leaned into the bar, until his face was almost touching it. He watched Jack’s face intently, looking for any sign that he would budge. 

Jack looked nervous. His face didn’t change, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, subconsciously. Burns forced himself to hide his smile. Jack was going to accept the deal, he could tell. Maybe not right yet… but he was smart enough to know what was good for him. And he wasn’t stupid enough to risk everything trying to protect the others. He knew just as well as Burns how totally fucked they were.

When Jack didn’t answer, Burns backed away. “It’s okay, take your time. I’ll give you the rest of the day. But you better make your decision quick – if we get them before you answer, you’re going down the ship. And Jack… that ship is going down.”

Burns glanced at the guards by his cell. Two women, one blonde, one red-headed. “Officers – what are your names?”

“Tuggey, sir.”

“Jenkins, sir.”

Burns nodded. “Keep an eye on him. I don’t want him going anywhere.”

“Yes, sir.”


	3. A Plan in Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has decisions to make. The crew is still stuck with no exit. The Doll with a Gun has a plan in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has it really been that long? Sorry for the wait! Enjoy the next chapter!
> 
> And thank you to anyone who has left kudos, and EXTRA love to those who left a lovely comment! I appreciate it!

Jack sat in his cell, thinking over his options. He couldn’t turn them in, could he?

Sure, they were assholes most of the time. Actually, they were assholes _all_ the time. But they were a group – they were a crew. He couldn’t go back on them like that, even if he’d be saving his own ass.

He glanced up at the two officers watching over him. They stood on either side of the door, backs to him. He wondered if he could reach them from inside the cell, and knock them out before they could call for backup.

Probably not.

He was probably stuck in here until the rest of the boys could get to him.

 _If_ they could get to him.

He put his head in his hands. He had a lot to think about, and he didn’t have a lot of time to do it.

He looked up at the sound of a door opening. Another officer walked into the room. She glanced at him as she approached the other officers. She leaned forward to one of the guards, whispering something in her ear.

Jack shifted uncomfortably in his seat. After a moment, she stood up straight, again, and left. He waited for something to happen.

And he waited.

And he waited.

Finally, the red-headed officer turned around. She pulled a set of keys off her belt and began to unlock his cell. “What’s going on?” He asked, pressing his back up against the wall.

“Burns wants you moved. You’re coming with us.”

Jack bit his bottom lip. Most likely he was going to be moved somewhere with even more surveillance and more guards. But there was really nothing he could do but accept his fate, for now, at least. He just hoped that the rest of his group would hurry the hell up and come get him.

…

 

Geoff stared down at the phone. He figured it was best not to answer it. “I’m thinkin’ we play hard-to-get. Huh? What do you think of that, guys?”

Everyone else shrugged. “If we’re going to give up Jeremy and one of the hostages, we should probably tell them now, right? I mean, he doesn’t have all day.” Micheal pointed out.

“No… no I don’t like this idea, at all.” Jeremy shook his head. “I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided this is a horrible idea. I don’t want to end up like Jack.”

“We’re going to get Jack!” Geoff argued. “He’s going to be _fine_. And so are you. But only if you let us do this.”

“Look, the bleeding has started to go down-“

“Probably because there’s so little left.”

“-and I don’t feel as bad. I promised I can make it. Just don’t turn me in, please.”

Geoff sighed. He looked up at Ryan. “Well, Ryan? You haven’t made your opinion clear.”

Ryan’s brow came together. “I say let the man do what he wants. If he dies it’s his own damn fault.”

“See? Thank you, Ryan.” Jeremy looked to between Geoff and Ryan. “Now come on. What are we going to do? How are we getting out of here?”

…

Gavin sat in a chair, twirling his gun in his hands. He stared blankly at the dozen or so hostages, who were all staring up at him in fear and confusion. He was listening to the conversation going on in his ear piece. Nobody wanted his opinion – that was obvious. So he just didn’t give it. He decided to just let the crew make decisions without him.

“M-mister?” At the sound of a woman’s voice, he came back into reality, and focused in on her. She was rather small, with long blonde hair and light eyes. She looked terrified. She was sitting in the middle of everyone.

Gavin looked at her, but didn’t say anything.

She seemed to wait for a response for a moment, but when it was obvious that he wasn’t going to answer, she continued. “Sir… how long are you going to hold us here?”

“As long as it takes.” Gavin answered, flatly. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel bad for her – he did. They didn’t want to hurt anybody they didn’t have to. Holding them here was just part of the job. He felt for her, but he didn’t want to let that on. He couldn’t show that kind of weakness to a group of people he was holding a gun to. That would never work out.

“Are you going to hurt us?”

“Not if you don’t do anything stupid.” Gavin sighed. “Look, we don’t want to hurt anybody. We’re just here for the money. As soon as we get that, and we get out of here, you all will be safe. It won’t take much longer.”

The woman didn’t look comforted. She pulled her legs up against her chest, and wrapped her arms around herself. Gavin looked away, listening in to his ear piece instead.

…

“Maybe if we can get out onto the roof – “

“And do what? Jump? We don’t have a fucking helicopter waiting for us. We’d have no place to go.”

“Okay, fine… can we go underground? There’s gotta be a sewer system or something down there that we can go through!”

“Yeah, and the only way down there is from outside in the alley way! There’s no way to get there from inside the building.”

“Well there isn’t anywhere we can get to inside the building! We need to get outside somehow.”

“What the fuck was that? Did you guys hear that?”

The whole floor felt like it shook as an explosion went off a few blocks away. They heard shouting outside from the police officers.

Geoff grabbed his gun and made his way slowly to the front lobby. He looked out the window, and could see there was some major commotion going on out there. He could see thick black smoke coming from a few blocks away. “Dude, something _big_ went off out there. Who the fuck did that?”

“That would be me.” All the boys turned at the sound of her voice, their guns drawn and pointed in her direction. She stood behind them, wearing an FBI jacket and tight leather pants. Her hair black and short; her eyes behind dark sunglasses. She had a gun attached to her leg in a holster. She didn’t even bother taking it out. “Or rather… some friends of mine.”

“Who the hell-“ Michael began, but he stopped as it hit him. “Wait, are you Ryan’s _friend_ , or whatever?” 

Ryan grinned.

The woman didn’t answer. Instead, she took off the sunglasses, tossing them on the desk in front of her. She pulled off the FBI jacket, letting it hit the floor behind her feet. Then she reached up to her hair, and pulled off the wig, letting long, bright purple hair fall down to her shoulders. Finally, she responded. “That would be me, yes. Now, are you going to put your guns down, or what?”

The boys exchanged glances, but lowered their guns. “How did you get in here? This place is surrounded!”

The girl, who was still unnamed, shrugged. “I have my ways. Just like I have ways of getting you all far, far away from here before Burns even knows you’re gone.” She then turned to Ryan, her smile changing from the confident grin she had been wearing, to one much more genuine and warm. 

“I’m glad you could make it.” Ryan’s voice was almost unrecognizable to the group as he spoke. It was no longer the deep grumble that they rarely got to hear, anyway. It was softer, and kinder. In fact, his whole face seemed to change. Since he had to blend in as a civilian at the beginning of this heist, he had to go without his creepy-as-fuck mask this time. So the crinkles around his eyes, and the smile on his lips were as obvious as they were strange on his face. The crew had never seen this side of him before, in all their years working with him.

Still, none of that was as surprising as what the woman said back.

“You know I’ll _always_ come when you call, Rye-Rye!” She giggled, going over to him. She grabbed onto his arm, pressing herself against his side.

“Rye-Rye?” Michael repeated, not being able to suppress the guttural laugh forming in his throat. “Are you serious? That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.” He would have continued, but Ryan- sorry, _Rye-Rye_ – shot him a look that had him stopping in his tracks.

“Look, this is cute and all, but what’s the plan? What are we going to do?”

She was still holding onto Ryan’s arm, her eyes narrowing. “The plans already in motion, boys. I’m getting you outta here.”


End file.
